trade off, is when you choose something, something else will be forgone or neglected.

just like economics theory, the opportunity cost.

but what if you are only able to chose the second best chioce for yourself? because you are not fit enough for the first best choice.

fit. why am i not fit enough for it?

and i have to admit i am desparate to get it. i am already willing to sacrify so many things for it. but the fact is i have to get back to ground?

perhaps, i will be better steping on real solid groud. back to my root.

moon outside is always brighter, bigger? i see it now, maybe the moon light is too bright to blind me.

i am a small fish n a big pond. i want to choose to be a smalll fish in a big pond in fact. to see the big pond and see on the different fishes around, and then i would know, the pond's water is too cold for me.

jump jump.

fish please jump, and also swim against the stream. you will be stronger and better.
SWIM AGAINST THE STREAM.

i am the fish, adapt with it. remember your mother.