trade off, is when you choose something, something else will be forgone or neglected.

just like economics theory, the opportunity cost.

but what if you are only able to chose the second best chioce for yourself? because you are not fit enough for the first best choice.

fit. why am i not fit enough for it?

and i have to admit i am desparate to get it. i am already willing to sacrify so many things for it. but the fact is i have to get back to ground?

perhaps, i will be better steping on real solid groud. back to my root.

moon outside is always brighter, bigger? i see it now, maybe the moon light is too bright to blind me.

i am a small fish n a big pond. i want to choose to be a smalll fish in a big pond in fact. to see the big pond and see on the different fishes around, and then i would know, the pond's water is too cold for me.

jump jump.

fish please jump, and also swim against the stream. you will be stronger and better.
SWIM AGAINST THE STREAM.

i am the fish, adapt with it. remember your mother.

如果你是爱一边听着歌，一边高声跟随着唱歌的人，

有没有那么一首歌，

一播放的时候，

你只会沉默的听，

脑海里浮现的，

就是他的画面，

那时的他对着你唱那首歌的画面。

或许他没有唱给你听，

但是他叫你听这首歌，

因为那是他那时对你的心声。


今天，又沉默了一首个的时间。

我很宅。。。
不回家留在学校的我，
生活就是24小时漂在5楼。
电脑因为之前存量不足而删掉所有的戏，是所有！！
所以我的宅生活更单调，黑白！

宅到什么程度吗？连食堂都不去。
三餐呢？
冰箱可以吃的都吃。麦片加炼奶似乎已经是常饭了。
炼奶也快完了 -,-

有时真的很想跟姐出去，
但是她总是扫兴。
好几次了。

每天起来就是开电脑上facebook，
没有assignment就这样，有assignment也是这样，提不起劲来。
没有电影/综艺节目/卡通/所有会动加又声音的视觉和听觉享受的人生。。。
搞到我呢，现在听歌很小声，稍微大声我嫌吵了！
严重吧？

干吗不开pps或youtube?
pps在学校可以load出来广告我就要买烧猪还神了。
youtube每次load综艺节目的开始，就是一堆动画和前面的介绍歌，之后就要等到蜘蛛造网才有。
于是我点击了‘close'
close all tabs? yes! all fucking unloaded tabs!

宅就像厌食症。
本来不吃变瘦，个个赞你瘦了，心里沾沾自喜。
后来就变成看到食物就想吐。

宅呢，开始很享受这样的清静。不必花钱。
后来偶尔想出去但是人物时间地点不妥，就罢了。
最后就想我现在这样。

朋友好像很少。
爱人晚上才得空。
facebook越来越无聊。

宅久了对一切没劲。
不写了。

夜深人静，越来越不喜欢facebook。玩腻了，我想很多人早就玩腻了，因为我想关心的人很少update,反而一堆无聊人的照片每天在new feds出现。 =.=

还有2星期我就要去香港，兴奋呢。不过，烦躁的心情一点也没有比兴奋少。

烦躁synoptic,
烦躁contemporary discussion,
烦躁凌晨没人载我去机场。

还好 Alaz Goh 说了让我放心的话。'Enjoy your stay in HK, don't worry'. 我也一定要加油不能让他失望。Thank you.

感激 Miss Gowrie 指导我对未来的方向。她就像一位母亲对我说话，告诉我自己在学业和未来事业上的方向。 You are my role model now. Thank you.

原来在你要改变一个人时，或者你想在他面前呈现出怎样的自己当儿，你自己真的会改变。感激内心的天使征服了恶魔。

今年的生日。除了另一半给我的礼物及快乐。其实我是寂寞的。
感谢佩汶的礼物，她简直像位姐姐这样，她就是给我姐姐的感觉，是我这辈子工作时期遇到的其中一位好人。
感谢我的姐姐陪我，蛋糕，donuts..我知道你要陪我度过生日。
还有父母的爱，谢谢。
问问自己，到底我还能混在哪群朋友里？还是这个年纪已经没有必要有一斑朋友，是很要好的那种。不是自己人缘差，自己身边还是很多爱我的朋友，讨厌我的也存在。
所以， 928可能是我熟悉的日子，还有facebook一堆祝福的日子。

成长让我得到的，足以补偿我失去的吗？
曾经无所不谈的朋友，他们都不在身边。身边的朋友，不再无所不谈。

也许好友要另一半来代替了，听见吗，我的你！

又是时候做 Assignment。待续。

how many times.
when we knew the consequences,
we knew what we will get when we walk down the road and reach that end,
and there's light of hope that we could change it now.
but we didnt.
and we regret later.

Sorrows in my heart that are left unspoken,
form the water that blurred my vision.

What to say?
What to think?
What to do?
To make me feel there's hope still?

Swallow the saltiness in my throat....
And dry the salt in my eyes.

Smile again and say I'm alive.

Lets talk about art tonight.

Recalling it was few years back when my cousin Daniel was still a secondary boy, I went to Singapore and he has this art homework to do which are drawings or images using lines and dots. I help him with that homework and it looks like this.

The bottom one was drawings whereas the above is an example given by his teacher.

I was satisfied with that piece of work.

And now, Daniel has starts his college life in La Salle, a college with outstanding reputation in arts. Every time I visit him, I am interested to look at his projects and works, how I wish I am doing the same course.

Daniel once answered me when I ask him why he choose to study in art school while he once hates to do his arts homework? He said I somehow inspired him. And look at me, miserably doing Accounting and not even Economics. How sad right?

...Oh ya, I just spent 20 minutes to browse La Salle's website, imagining one day I am studying there and do my arts projects...

And recently, I'm in love with typography. Check these out,



Cool right? Can be graphics form words or words forming graphics. Awesome in conveying message. I think they are useful for advertising to bring out some message and create awareness because they are just so eye-catching. <3 it so much!